i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
