have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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