we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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