Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
