Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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