Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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