Buhtt sex?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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