Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
What a dumb baby whore.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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