I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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