Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
do herpes really smell.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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