is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
