I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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