help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
