I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
