there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
