Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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