That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
