We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
