i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
