Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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