i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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