Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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