Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
