My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Can Purell be used as lube?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
