Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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