i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
