I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
