Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
