I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
