Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
