life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
