I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
