idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I am naked and annoyed.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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