The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
