The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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