"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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