The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
