So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Someone shit on the floor
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
