We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
