I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
