What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
