She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
