Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
