as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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