I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
