I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
