Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
