i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
