He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
