I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
