I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
