who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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