Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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